it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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