Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
