ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
