My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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