Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I can't turn off my feet"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
