I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
