I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
