he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
