Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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