I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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