just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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