Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
