What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
