Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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