We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We talked him into tasing himself.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Randomize
