I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
