That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize