I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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