I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
