hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
