I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He passed out mid-signature
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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