I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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