I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
