we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
