why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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