If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
