I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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