i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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