Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
