11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
