my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
