whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize