Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
