Can Purell be used as lube?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize