I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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