i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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