I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
