I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
