I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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