U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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