I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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