I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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