Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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