Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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