we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
