it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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