Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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