I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
