How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
