A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
