So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
