im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
